Shattered Expectations

It has now been two full weeks since boot camp ended and although a lot has happened in the mean time, I feel like I have finally had enough time to truly digest what all went on. This blog is my attempt to unpack and to explain some of the things that I got to experience and learn.

I joined the World Race in October of 2020 and although nine months have passed, it feels no longer than a few weeks. In that time, I began virtually meeting all of my new squad mates and attempting to gather the supplies needed. That process was exciting, fun, and stressful, all at the same time. I often felt overwhelmed, lost, or both. These people were strangers and I’ve never had to pack for anything like this. Not to mention the insane amount of mental preparation I’ve tried to get done. I knew that I was stepping into unfamiliar territory. I am generally not an anxious person (I think), but training camp was bringing out my anxious side. In my hopes to get a grip on the situation, I began forming expectations and preparing for these expectations to the best of my ability. Boot camp shattered my expectations in the best way possible.

As childish as it may seem, I was nervous to not be in control of what or when I was eating. Typically I am a picky eater. This isn’t an issue at home, but obviously you won’t always get to hand pick your meals at mission bases in developing countries. So, I expected to struggle and I had developed a fear that eating food that I wasn’t used to would pull my attention away from all that I was getting to take part in. Obviously they can’t serve us all that we will eat overseas in a four day camp, but each meal served was a cultural meal that I typically don’t have at home. I ate and enjoyed every meal. I don’t know if I enjoyed them because I knew it was my only choice of food or because I really wanted to enjoy it. I know I won’t enjoy every meal I have over the course of nine months overseas, but I feel like God was showing me that I need to relax and realize that I’ll be just fine with whatever we’re given. Again, this may seem like a small thing, but it was an answered prayer for me.

Another expectation I had built up, was how hard it would be to actually live outside. I’ve hiked and camped before, but during those trips I had as much room as I needed, power from my truck, and the security that if I ever got too uncomfortable, I could drive somewhere and get a hotel. For months I had been picturing the first night at boot camp. I pictured laying there, adrenaline gone, finally grasping what in the world I was actually getting myself into, with a sense of panic. This expectation stayed with me for months, even onto the plane as I flew alone to Atlanta. However, as expected, God had been working in my heart to prepare me for longer than I realized. Philippians 4:4-10 had been on my mind for weeks, simply because it seemed like a good section to try and memorize. I cannot even describe to you the peace that filled me time after time as I would say these verses in the plane, in the van, and as we began the first day of camp. At the conclusion of the first day, the moment that I had been picturing became reality. It felt like déjà vu because picturing that moment had been so frequent and real. However, the feeling of panic could not have been more wrong. As midnight passed and the camp got quiet, I sat there in my hammock and just looked at the sky through the trees. That was the most peaceful moment I have ever experienced. It was as if God was showing me what it really looked like to gain peace by trusting in Him. It was a peace that was beyond words; a peace that surpassed understanding.

The biggest expectation that I had developed was that it would be hard to manage the social aspect alongside all of the other discomforts. I was nervous that It would be awkward, or that it would be hard to truly get to know people, or that I wouldn’t be liked by the people I was going to have to spend nine months with. The majority of us had been talking in some way for months online, but I believed that actually knowing these people would be much harder. This expectation was blown out of the water. From my first few conversations with Abisha, Landry, and Grant in the airport, I quickly realized that these are really amazing people. As boot camp went on, I got to have personal conversations with almost everyone on my squad, as well as many other conversations with members of the other two squads. With each passing conversation, I got more excited about the fact that I GET to take part in mission work with these people. The group could not be more different. Everyone has a different background, different interests, different struggles, different dreams, and a unique story of how they ended up here. This group is very flawed, beginning with me, and that’s okay. Thankfully we know the same forgiving God. As we moved through worship sessions and vulnerable devotional times, I couldn’t help but reflect about how thankful I am to be with this specific group of people. In the coming months, not everything will be sunshine and rainbows. I’m sure that we will argue and occasionally get tired of each other, but I’m confident that our shared desire to love people and grow the Kingdom will bring us closer than we can imagine.

As our group continues to prepare in these in-between months, I’d ask that you please pray for us. Please pray that our hearts would be in the right place, that we’d surrender to what God is calling us towards, and for the safety of our travels. I’d also ask that you please pray for the countries we are heading to and for all of the people that we will get to encounter. 

Thank you for reading this far. I know this was long, but it’s only a fraction of what God is doing through this mission and within me. I appreciate you for taking the time.

• Carter